Part 1: The Beginning

I would send this email individually, but there are 14 computers, with unbelievably slow internet for 98 students. Also the internet doesn't work, really. I've written three complete emails only to lose them to network crashes, computer crashes, and the one time the keyboard stopped working. It's also impossible to call me, as they took away my cell phone (not that it worked anyway). So I've got a phone card and three working payphones for everyone. So basically don't expect to hear from me too often. Eventually, we will be getting laptops for everyone, and wireless internet across campus, but the wireless equipment is held up in customs. But for now, this is it.

Perhaps I'm not painting the best picture of ALA, but really the past five days (feels like three years) have been the best five days of my life. I arrived after 28 hours of traveling at 11 pm, waking up my roommate (Mainza Moono from Zambia). I woke up at 5:30, which is apparently when all African students wake up. Why they need an hour and half before breakfast, I don't know, but I'm here to learn.

[Image to be added: The main quad, or, the central frisbee field]

Anyway, then I went to breakfast with my dorm. We're in the same building as the girls, but they are upstairs. There is certainly no intervis—entering the girls' hallways at any time ever will result in expulsion. But moving on, we went to breakfast, where we usually have a fried egg, toast, cereal and either a hot dog or dangerously undercooked bacon. Africans apparently eat their cereal with hot milk, which is a little unusual, but the tea is absolutely delicious. We would go to classes after breakfast, but we haven't had any classes yet, just orientation. Lots of silly games and exercises and boring lectures about topics ranging from health and wellness to life coaching to snakes we might find on campus. That last lecture was about snakes and was actually quite interesting—apparently there are spitting cobras, and people kept asking questions about whether black mambas can catch people on bicycles.

All of the other students are so cool. They are absolutely brilliant, and friendly and really cool. My roommate, Mainza (pronounced Mine-za) is the man. Tinashe, Spencer, Bridget, Sila, Noni, and approximately 93 others—they are all so interesting, glad to be here, and fun to be around.

Fun. That is something this school knows how to have. We had a reception for all these important donors and everything, and that wasn't too exciting although the food was good, but the concert afterward given by Vusi Mahlasela (don't trust my spelling) was just amazing. He's a South African legend, apparently, known as "The Voice" and for his performance at Mandela's inauguration. It was great—he covered Paul Simon, and I impressed Ziggy, the South African next to me by knowing all the words. Soon after that the dancing broke out. Suffice to say it was the happiest and most joyful mosh pit I have ever been in. Also, I've taught most of the school ultimate, and I've played often. They're still not that good yet, but that won't last for long.

Speaking of dancing, we had a "cultural exchange" today. Most people did a national song and/or dance, and then a little bit of info about their country. They were funny, but ours was the finishing act. We presented a typical day in America, as narrated by a gangsta, a New Yorker, a cowboy (me), and a Californian. Mine, for example, began "Well, howdy, y'all!" This of course, was in my most ridiculous western accent. I went on, "Now, after a long day wranglin' steers on the plains of Grand Rapids, I head on down to the local dance hall for a little rest and relaxation!" You get the idea. The little narrations introduced the following songs, to which we danced: Soulja Boy, Macarena, Cotton Eye Joe and Cha Cha Slide. Needless to say it was extremely well received.

Speaking of music, Africans know an amazing number of American songs and artists. They know pretty much all recent rap, the vast majority of pop, but little rock or folk. You may not believe me, but today I personally observed 20 Africans dancing and singing their hearts out to "Since U Been Gone." Normally I can hold my laughter in, but this was just too much. These Africans seem to think that I'm not your typical ignorant American and I'm eager to keep that illusion up. Speaking of ignorant Americans, I have had to endure several conversations about all the stupid questions Americans ask people from Africa. Pretty much every one of them who has been to America or knows Americans has dozens of stories. And believe you me, I hear them all. But really, my welcome here has been absolutely outstanding. ALA feels very different than anywhere else I have been. It's kind of hard to describe.

Little things are what really drive it home that I'm not back in the States. We don't have ketchup here, but tomato sauce instead. It's not really anything like ketchup. Much sweeter and more liquidy. And the warm milk thing. And the larger cans of coke. And strange South African slang. Like how the Xhosa (South African tribe) click during the word vehicle, because of the h. So basically I'm having the time of my life. Of course, my classes (world literature, African Studies with both the geography and economics expansions, and Leadership and Entrepreneurial studies) haven't started yet.

I miss you all, and I hope that you are well. Please respond and tell me how you're doing; I would love to hear.

Much love,
—fas co gris

Hamjambo, everybody!

That's the Swahili greeting for large groups of people. Your response is sijambo, which means that you're doing well. As you can see, my Swahili class has begun. I can already say things like "How is your mother?" and "The cow is fat" and all kinds of other useful things. Or as we say in Swahili, all kinds of faa things. (Faa means useful). My other classes are also awesome. African Studies (Afro Stud for short) is basically humanities, but in Africa and with uniformly smart classmates. I'm also taking Writing AS and World Lit, which is basically the honors English sequence, although it's still not that hard. But we're reading good books so it's very enjoyable. Finally there is Leadership and Entrepreneurship, which is pretty much unbearable. But you have to take the bad with the good.

Speaking of bad, the internet here is absolutely hopeless and despite promises to the contrary, it looks as though we're never going to get good internet and our personal laptops. Also the food ranges from truly foul to just mediocre. What is particularly interesting is the South African definition of sandwich. You and I might not consider bread with margarine in the middle a sandwich, but it certainly is here. Or bread with grated American cheese and nothing else. Also they have irritating study rules about when, where and what I have to study. But their salsa, which they call chili and doesn't really resemble salsa at all, is really good. It's really hot.

But I'll survive, if only on how awesome my extracurriculars are. I'm starting a Literary Club and Magazine, an exchange program with St. Paul's, and I'm the captain of the ping pong team. Talk about leadership.

This past week we've spent a lot of time going around to different community service sites to see where we want to spend our time this year. It's been an eye-opening experience. We've been to some of the poorest communities in the world, to little schools and community centers. At these places there are crowds of tiny little children, most of whom have never seen a real live white person before, especially not one with red hair, blue eyes and freakish height. They must think I'm an alien. That's certainly the impression I get when they see me for the first time. But after a few minutes, they get over it, and we just play all kinds of silly games. I think it helps that I arrive with a whole bunch of Africans wearing the same clothes as me. But still, the South Africans spend a lot of time explaining what the white guy is doing here. It's an interesting experience.

Speaking of clothes, they make us wear these maroon (maroon is the school color) tracksuits, which aren't really that bad, but when you wear them all day every day with no chance to clean them, they get a little tiresome. Theoretically the actual uniforms are coming soon, but I've stopped believing the whole "coming soon" thing. They have given us sweet fleeces with the crest on them though.

Anyway, I think that's enough for now. I could go on about all sorts of things, like the music on the radio, or the mall trip, but I have to go to class.

Kwaheri! (goodbye—I would say I miss you, but I don't know how to say that)

—fas co gris

[Image to be added: I still have my track suit. Sometimes I think about wearing them (there were matching bottoms as well), and I just shake my head.]

Hey everybody—it's almost week four in Africa, and you all have absolutely no idea who all of my friends are. So this email is going to be about my classmates.

Mainza — Mainza is my roommate. He is from Zambia, and almost my height. He's a spectacular athlete, one of the best in the school. He's also very bright, and a really nice guy. He's really into hip-hop and gangsta rap. He often walks around, beat boxing, and repeating phrases from rap songs, but changing them. He's sort of like a walking, soccer-playing remix machine. He's also into graphic design, and is a member of the IT Club AKA geek squad. He also has a very sarcastic sense of humor. Or humour as we spell it here.

[Image to be added: Mainza]

Lennon — Lennon lives just down the hall. By some fluke he ended up without a roommate, but still with a double room. This makes him very sad, and so he pretends that he has a roommate, whose name is Keegan. I find this endlessly amusing, because of the Alan Keegan we all know, but he doesn't really understand. He's the head of the Geek Squad, and is from Zimbabwe. He has theories about literally everything from particle physics to Big Momma's House 2 and explains them constantly, with slow deliberate hand gestures that look like he's philosophizing. That's one thing about many Africans—they absorb American culture indiscriminately. They listen to the best hip hop and at the same time watch Soul Plane. I just don't understand. One more thing about Lennon—his dancing is even worse than mine and he's seen Shrek "more than a thousand times."

[Image to be added: Lennon — He borrowed my fez for a basketball tournament]

Noni — Noni is from South Africa (Johannesburg) and is tiny. She's an excellent singer, and has more energy than a nuclear power plant. She always starts her public speaking with "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, apples and pears." She laughs like a machine gun and doesn't really speak quietly ever. Her actual name is Nohlanhla, which none of you can pronounce because the hl is a particular kind of sound we don't have in English. I'm practicing, but it's impossible, basically.

Abdi — Abdi is from Morocco, and is exactly like Borat. I am not even kidding. Instead of 'very nice' he says 'very good,' and whenever he sees someone he gives a double thumbs up and says "My guy!" just like Borat might. I wish you could hear the voice, but just do your best Borat impression and you'll get the idea. But he's a really nice guy, and good at soccer.

Sila — Sila is from Nigeria, and is extremely glamorous. She dances like whoa, and kind of reminds me of Heather. I know that description wouldn't remind anyone of Heather, but she kind of looks like her. She's also half Turkish and is the other head of the Literary Club.

OY — OY (oh-why)'s name is impossible to pronounce and spell, especially since her language (Yoruba) is a tonal language like Chinese. So everyone just calls her OY. She is absolutely hilarious, bright, and rarely stops laughing for more than a few seconds. Her hand gestures are dramatic, more like arm and upper body gestures. She just got red glasses, which are very cute.

William Kamkwamba — William is from Malawi, and is literally one of the nicest people I have met in my entire life. He exudes good sense, and is twenty years old. He hadn't been to much school before this, but despite that he once made an electricity-generating windmill from a picture in a book. The windmill powered his entire village and made him slightly famous. He has had a documentary made about him, which you can YouTube (search "Moving Windmills").

Jack — Jack is the other American guy. He's very smart, quite funny, but has a tendency to complain loudly and tactlessly. But he's a perfectly nice guy. The problem is that he's also tall and has similar hair to me, so I get called Jack pretty much all the time. Even my teachers occasionally call me Jack. He's also in the most serious campus relationship with a Coloured (mixed race) South African named Kylie.

Simone and Nina — These are the two American girls. Nina is younger than the rest of us, but likes really good music and has very similar politics to me. She gets a lot of heat for being an atheist here. Simone went to Andover, and I used to hate her, but it turns out she's actually hilarious, if a bit blunt.

[Image to be added: The American students — From left to right: Jack, Simone, some guy from Zimbabwe whose name I have forgotten, Nina]

Ela — Ela's name is pronounced Ella, which means that when we're in the same place everyone says "hey Fas Co and Ella," which is very surreal for me. She also hates the song Umbrella just like Ella! Anyway, she's from about a hundred different European countries and speaks about a million languages. She lives in Pretoria now, but I think she's also of Turkish descent.

Jihad — Gray and I met Jihad in New York, which is when we realized how awesome she is. Nothing has changed. It's kind of hard to describe her, but Gray, you'll understand.

[Image to be added: Jihad — I met Jihad during my interview for ALA in New York, and immediately recognized her as a special person.]

Ayman Osama — Ayman is from Egypt. He's a spectacular athlete and often arm-wrestles other guys. I have yet to see him lose. He's Muslim (as are a lot of people that I've already mentioned) and showed me how to pray. There's this really cool compass that shows you where Mecca is. It's Ramadan right now, so all the Muslims are fasting, which seems like it's not that much fun. They're hungry all the time.

Ziggy — Ziggy is from Durban, South Africa. He's a very nice guy, incredibly intelligent, and also hilarious. I don't know why I think this, but he seems like he would get along really well with Michael. He was in a class with me for a little bit, and during discussion he sits back and only speaks occasionally. But when he does, everyone listens.

Kevin — Finally we have Kevin. Kevin is from Cameroon, which he often shouts at strange times. He is one of the loudest people I have ever met. He's very Christian and often tells Nina that she must repent or go to hell. His English is awful, so everything he says is hilarious, no matter how serious it is. He often accuses Jack of fornicating because of his relationship with Kylie. He actually reminds me of Louis Costa de Beauregard more than anyone else. A Christian African Louis. You can imagine.

So those are some people. There are a lot more, and I've left out some of my closest friends. Not to mention the faculty. But there is plenty of time for all that later.

I hope you are all well, and that you're paying attention to politics because they seem sort of spectacular right now. Not that I would know, because I can only read the paper every three days.

Much love,
—fas co gris